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“And yet you knowingly performed magic, and did so, fully aware that you were in close proximity to a Muggle at the time?”

Many times Harry watched helplessly as Dudley lied and bluffed his way out of trouble, while Harry tried valiantly to stick to the truth and his innocence. Long ago, he decided to distance himself from his hated family by refusing to be like them, but reality overcame his will time and time again, forcing him to take the less noble path to protect himself.

Deny everything; that was Dudley’s motto. Learned from the bosom of his father, and reinforced by years of successful use. Harry learned his lessons too.

“No,” he said confidently. “I did not.”

A murmur rustled through the crowd, growing louder and forcing the Minister to raise his voice.

“Therefore-” Fudge started saying, before stopping abruptly. There was a startled pause as the Minister suddenly realised what Harry said. “Mr Potter, I have the report of the incident right here in front of me, we know it was you.”

It was time to be a Gryffindor. He was not going to win them over, so he had to attack. The underage detectors only record that magic happened near him, not that he specifically caused it. Dudley's presence had to be pure conjecture, or was based on interviews with the Dursleys. Neither could counter his claim of innocence, and the flimsy nature of the evidence against him worked in his favour.

If worse came to worse, Harry would happily let them snap the rubber chicken wand in his back pocket.

Almost a Squib, Chapter 5