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Two girls, one ginger, on blonde, sat in the vegetable garden watching the "gnomes" pull back and forth on a large carrot.

Luna frowned, "They're not really gnomes, you know."

"Yeah," Ginny said, "Bill met a real gnome, said it was like a chubby little elf. They do all the banking in Zurich in Swiss-land."

"These little uglies are more like tiny little trolls."

"You mean, like troll dolls?"

Both girls took on identical mischievous grins, "Fred, George!"

The Weasley twins, home for the weekend, for the Lovegood funeral, were in their first year at hogwarts.

"Yes?"

"What can we…"

"…be doing for you, little ladies?"

Ginny smiled, "Could you petrify two, no, four garden gnomes for us please?"

"Sure, but…"

"…what do you want…"

"…with petrified gnomes?"

"We're gonna dress em' up!"

The twins, of course, thought that was brilliant, and set about petrifying half a dozen hapless little uglies. And that was just for starters.

All four children had fun dressing and posing the misshapen little creatures, the garden gnomes, not so much.

When it was time for dinner Molly came out to the garden, drawn to the sound of children's laughter.

What she saw had her running for the family camera.

Up and down the stone garden wall, gnomes were reenacting the Battle of Hastings, and the Fourth and Fifth Goblin Wars. Gnome archers, gnome pikemen, and gnome foot soldiers stood in neat little rows.

In a far corner two gnomes were getting married before a gnomish vicar.

The expressions on the toad-like little grey and brown faces were priceless.

The Weasleys learned a valuable lesson that day. Pitching gnomes will keep them out of your garden for a day, mortifying them will keep them away forever.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5797650/1/