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They found him out front, sitting on the stairs and talking to the two door sentries. Cigarette in mouth, he kept flicking the silver lighter, attempting to spark a flame. And after ensuring neither of the guards ‘had a light’ he stood, reaching up to one of the torches mounted along the side of the wall. He pulled himself up with his arms sticking his face by the dancing tongue of flame, and puffing on the cigarette expectantly.

He pulled away only to find his cigarette still unlit. Celestia waited with an amused face, content to let the human figure it out for himself. Clearly confused he stuck the tip back into the flame only to receive the same result. He decided to up the ante by placing his entire face into the fire. Luna audibly smacked her hoof to her forehead, despite the human pulling his unharmed head out of the blaze.

He dropped back down to the ground, scratching his head. He noticed the alicorns standing at the entrance giving him judgmental looks. He pointed back up at the mounted torch. “…Your fire is broken,” he told them, in a still perplexed voice.

“It’s a heatless torch, Major,” Celestia explained. “Magic. Not real fire.”

“Oh,” he said quietly, unsure whether to be impressed or disappointed.

“At what point in that little journey of discovery, did you decide to test if the fire was hot, and think that the best way to do that… was with your face?” Luna asked sounding genuinely mystified by the logic.

“It was at the point roughly somewhere between shut up and I do what I want,” he responded sharply.

“Enough,” Celestia moaned tiredly. “Luna, be nice. Shane, fire is hot,” she settled quickly. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/5433/14/article-2/article-2-part-xiv