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“There’s...there’s something else I need to tell you. Something I think you should know.” With the fight that was coming, Buffy didn’t want to keep secrets that had the potential to tear their side apart, and although she wouldn’t divulge every intimate detail, she did want to let them in on what would answer a lot of questions. “After Harry defeated Professor Quirrell in our first year, and Voldemort left Quirrell’s body, he didn’t exactly go very far. I don’t...I don’t know if it was right after the fight and he just lay dormant or if Voldemort hovered around for the right time. I don’t know the exact details, I don’t think anybody really does, except for Voldemort himself, but...when I returned to Hogwarts for my second year, I felt...different. I don’t think I can even describe it. But I’m sure you guys can guess what it was.” Her heart beat a little faster and even she held her breath at what she would be saying next. “Ginny wasn’t the only one possessed three years ago...I was too. And it wasn’t by Tom Riddle’s diary, it was...I was possessed by Voldemort himself.” There it was. It was out in the open. They may have had their assumptions but it was all because of a diary, now they knew that it went much darker than that and Buffy gauged their reactions. As expected there was some shock and some confusion, but for Buffy there was some relief. The hardest part was saying it out loud; the next part was helping them understand. “Nobody really knows about it, just...just a few people. My mom...my dad...Remus, Sirius, Mrs. Weasley, Dumbledore...and Snape for tricky reasons. And if anybody else knows, it wasn’t because I told them. The Death Eaters knew, not all of them, but word must’ve spread. And before you even ask, I don’t know if Draco knows, I never told him and I don’t know if his father ever did. Nobody...nobody knows what happened to me while I was under Voldemort’s control. At least nobody I trust. Nobody I knew. I couldn’t even tell them because I had blocked it all out.” She looked at Harry and Ginny wanting them above anyone else to understand what she was going to say next. “That’s why when I was brought up from the Chamber of Secrets, I couldn’t remember anything. Not why I was there, not what I had done, nothing. It wasn’t until this year that it all started coming back. It was flashes at first and then dreams and then one night...I kinda just relived it all over again and I...I remembered. He...I-I...I did things I had no control over. Things I couldn’t even imagine myself doing...” It was inevitable. Talking about it caused the memories to come back. She remembered the blood and the screams. The joy that had filled Voldemort. The guilt and disgust she had been left with. But they didn’t have to know about it. They didn’t have to know how her hands would forever be tainted red. If she spared her mother, she could definitely spare them. “He, uh...he used Ginny’s possession as a distraction. While most of the castle was trying to figure out who the heir of Slytherin was, who was causing all the trouble, nobody even looked in my direction. No more than usual anyway. Dumbledore didn’t have the slightest idea of what was going on. No one did. And it wasn’t like I was acting any different. Not while I was in control of myself. I never knew what was actually happening to me. Like I said, I felt different, but not enough to question it. I felt tired a lot and my concentration was nearly non-existent during lessons. I was falling behind in my grades, and if it wasn’t for Theodore helping me study, I would’ve flunked every class completely. I really had no clue of what was happening. I went to bed every night and woke up in my bed every morning. I never found myself in strange places with strange people doing strange things. Nothing seemed out of place. Everything around me seemed perfectly normal. I didn’t know...I didn’t know that for nearly a year I was Lord Voldemort.”

UnExpected, Chapter 72