Some day, this will be a "Last.fm/NetFlix/Amazon for web fiction" (both original and fanfiction) where you can search across many different hosting sites or rate what you've read and get recommendations. However, life keeps throwing more urgent projects my way, so I don't know when it'll be ready.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7051218/5/Entering the Great Hall with his signature billowing robes, Severus Snape raised an eyebrow as he caught the tail end of the Stevens boy's announcement that he was not doing something any longer.
Part of his mind wondered just what it was the boy was not going to do any longer; the rest however knew that whatever it was it was trivial in the grand scheme of things.
Snape froze in place. Something was wrong… Something was… horror filled his soul when the music started. He knew all too well what that meant.
A rat was racing toward him, running long to the top of the Slytherin table. The rodent launched itself off the table, transforming in mid-leap from a rat to a man. Snape found Peter Pettigrew standing before him. Pettigrew produced a rose from nowhere, and clenched the bethorned stem in his teeth.
To his undying shame, Severus took Pettigrew into his arms, and the pair proceeded to tango while singing.
"I ache for the touch of your lips, Dear,
But much more for the touch of your whips, Dear.
You can raise welts
Like nobody else,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.
Let our love be a flame, not an ember,
Say it's me that you want to dismember.
Blacken my eye,
Set fire to my tie,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango."
Why? Severus asked himself as he moved through the dance. If it had to be Tom Leher, why could not the song have been Poisoning Pigeons in the Park? That was a song he could get behind.
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