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"Right, hypothetical," he says dryly. "Since you're 'hypothetically' considering leaving the organization, it makes me 'hypothetically' question why you joined in the first place."

"I was a missing-nin," I say, not wanting to bring up the involvement of 'Tobi' in my clan's massacre. "I was strong. Where else could I go?"

"Bullshit," my partner says bluntly. "Try again. Why did you join?"

I open my mouth; to say what, I cannot recall. But nothing comes out. After several minutes, the only thing I can do is shrug.

"I don't know," I admit. "It just seemed like the thing to do at the time."

"Uh-huh. And what; now you're bored with it?" 'Bored'. My eyes widened as I mentally digested the word. It was shockingly accurate.

"Yes. I mean...I'm bored. Bored. Huh." I roll the word around in my mouth. "I'm bored." I look at the former Mist-Nin in surprise. "I'm bored of fighting. I'm bored of orders. I'm bored of being a ninja." I shrug again. "I...just don't care any more."

Kisame sighs and sits down again. "Kid, I'm gonna tell you somethin', and I'm pretty sure you're not gonna like it."

I nod my head, indicating that he should go on. He leans closer, and unconsciously, I do the same.

"GROW UP!" He bellows suddenly. With an undignified squawk, I tumble backwards, my head ringing. Kisame looms over me, his face set in an impressive scowl as he bares the pointed teeth that resemble his namesake. "Play time's over, brat," he snaps. "You think being a ninja is about 'fun'? Fuck that - it's a miserable, dirty, rotten job, and we're the dumb fucks that signed up to do it in the first place! It's not about what you want to do, it's about what you're told to do. You may be strong, but you're an idiot if you don't realize that!"

"I know that already," I reply irritably, flipping to my feet. I dust myself off. "But the benefits of such an occupation are no longer sufficient. If there's no interest, then there's no point in continuing, is there?"

Kisame matches my glare for several tense minutes, and then sighs. "No, I suppose not," he agrees. "You'll just get killed if you don't care. But you're seriously gonna give up being a ninja?"

"Probably not entirely," I admit wryly. "But I just want to live my life undisturbed." That is about as close to pure truth as I will ever admit out loud; no matter where I've been, there have been far too many people about. Noise, noise, noise is all I ever find, and I've grown sick of it. Even the few people like Kisame who's company I enjoy aren't enough to make it worthwhile.

"So," he muses, scratching his chin, "clearly being 'S-Class Missing-Nin Uchiha Itachi, murderer of his whole clan' isn't cuttin' it for you. Then what are you looking for" - and here he makes a vague sweeping gesture towards the forest around us - "out there?"

"...I don't know," I say quietly. I look up at the sky; the stars are out. "Peace, maybe? Quiet, definitely. But I'm tired of being 'S-Class Missing-Nin Uchiha Itachi, murderer of his whole clan'," I say, mocking his tone. He grins toothily. "I just want to be left alone."

Kisame's grin widens. I suppose it would be disturbing to anyone else. "Fucking anti-social misanthrope."

"Walking Sushi bar reject," I retort. We grin at each other, our good moods restored.

"You know I can't just let you leave," he points out cheerfully. "Wouldn't reflect well on me." I nod.

"I know. If I were you, I wouldn't let me just walk away, either. But right now, I'm tired and I want to sleep."

"Yeah," Kisame agrees, "me too. Listening to you angst away is exhausting." I scoff and prepare my bed for the night. "Tomorrow at first light?" he asks.

"Hell, no," I snort derisively, folding my cloak. "I want at least one more of your meals before I go!"

Diary of a Madman: Memoirs of a Nukenin, Chapter 1