"Excuse me, Minister Fudge," asked Harry calmly. "Can you tell me what's happening? Why was I nearly hexed in my bed by a Hogwarts Professor?"
"Don't be silly boy, why would he do that?"
"Probably because his illegal Legilimency attack failed to tell him what he was looking for. You didn't know that he and Dumbledore practice it all the time on students?" Fudge's face was a picture. "Oh, and don't take any sweets he offers you, Snape makes them especially for him, if you know what I mean."
Fudge now looked like he was suffering a severe bout of constipation.
"Don't let it worry you, Minister; I'm sure Dumbledore will obliviate any memories he doesn't want you to have, at least that's what he usually does."
He left the infirmary at a run as Harry tried to contain his laughter, a bemused Ron asked, "What the hell was that all about?"
"Just winding up the Minister of Magic, Ron,"