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The Death Eater Team Gamma was filled with thirty-three Death Eaters and led by the Lestranges. Rodulphus grunted when he landed; Rabastan passed gas; and Bellatrix laughed and Crucio’d a nearby tree.

The others didn’t fare so well. Three fell down a water well…and drowned. Another three landed in an African spiny tree and were impaled. Another three began bleeding profusely from their noses and collapsed. Another three appeared to be attacked by feral puffskeins and died. Another three disappeared into clouds of utter darkness, screamed for a few seconds, and disappeared completely. And the remainder began to choke on their own drool and flopped over, dead.

The three Lestranges, Mamma Bear, Idiot Bear, and Dummy Bear, all yawned at the loss of the bulk of Voldemort’s force. They didn’t check to see if any of the ‘dead’ people were actually dead before Bellatrix pointed at a thick chain-link fence and screamed. “He’s in there.”

The three bears ran off to investigate the triply fenced enclosure…while the ‘drowned’ death eaters crawled out of the well, and the ‘impaled’ death eaters removed the three inch thorns, and the rest of the death eaters applied the various cure-alls to the pranks they’d bought from Grim and Heckle Potions Purveyors.

The leader of this renegade group had their escape all planned out…now all they needed was some land for their commune…and some patchouli, couscous, bulgur, and some lava lamps.

Thus, it seems, that thirty Death Eaters deserted from their Master with no one the wiser. If one is to fake his own death, do it at the opportune moment.

The Horror! The Horror!, Chapter 5