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"Naruto, if you don't shut up about ramen I'll sew your mouth shut."

Naruto clacked his tongue. Possibly the creepiest thing about Sasori's threats was that he deployed them so calmly and without changing the inflexion of his voice too much. He would say horrible things with the same voice he always used, like he was talking about the weather instead of threatening to gut you like a sardine. He really should leave the puppet master when he's tinkering with his puppets.

He really should.

"What do you think about by eating habits?" asked Naruto suddenly.

Sasori looked at him in obvious surprise. Naruto grinned, pleased that he managed to throw the older boy out of tact.

"What?"

"Everyone is always nagging me about how much ramen I'm eating. Do you think they're right?"

"One of the major downsides of having high chakra reserves is an increased need for calories. And when it comes to calories, few foods can match raw carbohydrates. Like, say, noodles. Unfortunately, noodles are rather bland by themselves so most people add some sort of flavor to them. Like putting them in a soup or broth."

Naruto stared at Sasori in surprise.

"So no, I don't think they're right," concluded Sasori. "You're not getting fat so it's obvious your body needs all that food. If anything, you should eat more of that stuff."

Naruto's eyes started tearing up, confusing Sasori.

"Naruto wha-"

"YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND EVER!" Naruto shouted, lunging at Sasori.

"No hugging!" hissed Sasori. "Stay right where you are!"

"Quickly, what do you think about my outfit!" said Naruto.

"You could wear a clown suit for all I care," said Sasori crankily. "What did I tell you about physical contact?"

"Sorry," said Naruto, rubbing the back of his head. "I forgot you don't like touching."

"If you 'forget' again, I'm going to sic my puppets at you," Sasori warned. "The poison-using ones."

"Okay, okay, I get it!" said Naruto. "I get it."

Scorpion's Disciple, Chapter 4