"Um…" said Uryuu, facing his emerging frenemy and rival. "Nice look…Kurosaki…actually I could definitely do something with that hair…maybe some skulls, some Xs…a bit gothic Lolita perhaps…?"
"How about you just pimp your cape and leave me alone?" snapped Ichigo, tugging at his flowing locks in the hopes that they'd vanish faster. "I can't believe you shot me! What's that one called, Lone Heat-Seeking Nuclear Missile on a Purple Cliff?"
Ishida looked both enraged and embarrassed, adjusting his glasses. "Actually it was my father who shot you."
"Have I met him?" asked the gradually-becoming-more-Ichigo-shaped teenager wearily.
Uryuu shook his head, but Isshin popped back up full of cheer. "You have! He was the midwife at your birth! Ryuuken's the first person you ever met!"
Ichigo and Uryuu choked, eyes locking in horror at this unholy knowledge.
"And I was the midwife at Uryuu's birth!" sang Doctor Kurosaki.
"We will never speak of this again," proposed the Last Quincy in a civil voice.
"Agreed," vowed the Shinigami Substitute, and they shared a gentlemanly handshake.